On my way home tonight, after a 12-hour work day, I realized how much more stable I had gotten over the past few weeks. I started to feel this way when I was hanging out with Lingyi a few weeks ago, although I'm not sure if the conversation I had with her was a wake up call or just a timely coincidence. I am truly enjoying the benefits of living in Seoul -- to the extent that I'd feel conflicted to give them up if I were to move to a different city. They include new friends, places to take yoga or cooking classes that are ten minutes away from work or home, being able to meet up with my oldest group of friends (sixteen years and counting) regularly, Juni/family, etc. There are certainly things I don't have here that I love -- lawns and trees, places to freely bike around, good cheese at reasonable prices, and some of the people I care for very much -- but I've finally come to truly appreciate the positive sides.
Another big shift in the past few weeks is that I'm able to think about the different challenges in life separately and work on them individually with a more confident, positive, and realistic mindset. What a change from a few months ago, or even a few weeks ago, when I felt depressed and helpless. It felt like a ball of yarn all tangled up and I couldn't figure out how to get out of the mess.
Seems like I just needed some time to get stronger.